A married couple. [photo/standardmedia.co.ke]
In just one month, the number of media reports of spousal killings has been on the rise. Cases of one cold blood murder after another are increasingly being committed out of passion, jealousy, and obsession.
But why? Have things become this bad in marriages that now getting into one has gotten close to signing a death certificate? The relationship among couples no longer has solid conversations with each other. They meet up at fast restaurants, take pictures for social media and no longer talk about how they feel inside. They don’t value friendships, they are turning out to be a desperate generation. Desperate for attention, love, and fame and that it is this hunger and appetite for quick things as well as know-it-all attitude that many people are walking with into marriages.
The worry is that this trend may pass a message to other couples and generations to come that violence is the only way to communicate. Instead of talking to each other, they choose to talk to each other through posting on a Facebook wall. We are an emotionally incapacitated generation.
A child who witnessed conflict as the way to sort out issues in the home grow up knowing that violence is the way to get things to go your way. The child grows up knowing nothing about dialogue, negotiation or compromise. The child is handicapped as far as human relationships are concerned.
Add all these frustrations on the high levels of unemployment coupled with the increased cost of living and for those who have a source of income, a hostile business or job environment, many are bound to get overwhelmed.
Nonetheless, marriage is not easy, especially when those in it lack coping mechanisms and support systems. All this is compounded by inadequate mental health services. Some of the couples who are killing each other are affected by depression and other mental health problems, but most people lack information. A partner who is not mentally healthy becomes a stressor and that could trigger violence.